Corrie Ten Boom had just finished her sermon on God’s love in a church in Germany, a few years after World War 2. As she was greeting the people in the end, she happened to notice a familiar figure walking up to her from the back, through the crowd. As she realized who he was, he was already standing in front of her. He had been one of the prison guards in the concentration camp that Corrie and her sister had been in. Corrie and her sister had been tortured in unthinkable ways when they were in the concentration camp. As a result, Corrie’s sister had eventually died in her arms.
So many things quickly went on in Corrie’s mind as he extended his hand toward her asking her forgiveness. In Corrie’s own words (paraphrasing); “I stood still (froze) with coldness clutching my heart…. In that moment, I silently cried out to Jesus to help me and extended my hand mechanically. God’s power started to flow through me, and He changed my heart in an instant. I cried, brother, I forgive you with all my heart. For a long time, we held each other’s hand… I had never known God’s love so intensely as I did then”.
What a powerful display of Christ likeness. A measure of the love of Christ expressed on the cross.
Gladys’ Staines husband and two kids were mercilessly locked in their jeep and set on fire by an angry mob in the state of Orissa in India. To add to the cruelty, they had enjoyed watching the children scream and cry in pain as the flames engulfed them. Some days later they were all arrested including the guy who was instrumental in the killing. It was then Staines issued a statement saying that she had forgiven the killers and had no bitterness towards them. Her act shook the local community and the entire nation in a powerful way.
In 2004, Christianity Today described her as “the best-known Christian in India after Mother Teresa. In 2005, she was awarded the Padma Shri, a civilian award by the Government of India itself.
The reason for sharing these two incidents is because they are powerful examples of those who had suffered great abuse (or had been close to them and had been traumatized greatly) yet they made the right choices in those situations, as Christ would Himself!
Today, many victims are finding their voice and courage to speak out on the abuse they have experienced over the years. Many of them had been silenced by intimidation or manipulation earlier but are finally breaking free of all those shackles. It is something that has been long overdue and is much needed in the body of Christ.
There are those that are truly standing with them at this hour, so that their voice can be heard! They must be appreciated!
Those of us within have not done what is needed in bringing things to light properly or in some cases we have blatantly hidden the sin. We haven’t enforced the necessary disciplines in these situations; therefore, God is allowing those on the outside to bring things to light. Now, there may be grave concerns in many of the ways things are being brought to light, but it doesn’t change the fact that we have failed in our duty in this regard. It is imperative we humble ourselves before the Lord and ask Him for His light, setting things right in this regard,
Also, it is understandable that in these types of situations there are a lot of negative emotions towards the abusers; especially from those abused. God understands the depths of their pain and trauma, and everything else associated with it. His expectation on them to make the right choices (to forgive as He did) and to let go of the negativity is always contingent upon them first understanding and experiencing the truths of His love towards them. His love demonstrated through His cross. Any other grounds would make it impossible to fulfill those requirements.
Which is why it is so important that those of us who are standing with the victims stand with them on Calvary’s mount, in Calvary’s light.
It is more than just confronting the abuser and bringing things to light. It is more than just realizing that one has been abused. It is more than just standing with the victims. Again, these aspects are very essential for our times as we had previously overlooked them or were in error regarding them.
Having said that, as important and necessary these things are, if their roots are not from Christ’s love displayed on the cross, it can be detrimental and adverse to the victims, more than helpful in the longer run. In the end, God’s righteousness will not be fulfilled.
It is true that Christ in His Holiness is zealous over His bride and as a result brings things to light to purify us; to remove the tares from us. We desperately need to behold God in His Holiness and as a consuming fire again as many of us have consistently fallen short and lost sight of His standards.
At the same time, it is equally true that His love is what brings healing and restoration, true reconciliation. We need a revelation of the depths of this aspect of His nature too.
As a matter of fact, we stand in and on by His grace and grace alone. It’s important we have this truth as our reference point and in our perspective when we seek justice. As, if not, when we try to hold people accountable for their actions, we will act and judge unrighteously.
He is Holy and He is Righteous. He is compassionate and gracious! An important truth in this regard is, on this side of eternity, God’s interactions with us in His Holiness and Righteousness are only within the confines of His grace and mercy. Otherwise, no one can stand before Him.
It is important we have this in our hearts when we relate to those that have sinned against others or us.
Proper counsel and healing in these situations can only come from looking unto Him who suffered the greatest abuse of all! Any other source of counsel will be inadequate, and the healing process incomplete.
We must also realize and acknowledge that each of us individually is solely responsible for the abuse that the Son of God suffered. When one is an abuser themselves, surely, they can readily extend grace to their abuser?
We must also have a revelation of how Jesus handled the abuse on the cross. He completely and totally forgave absolving us of all the consequences of our actions. We should extend forgiveness to others with the same heart.
The above written thoughts are hard to accept. It can only be understood with revelation! A revelation of His love which is far greater than any human being’s and a compassion that understands and feels for us, much more than we do for our own ourselves. A compassion that flows out of His great love for us. It is in this place of absolute love and security where His Spirit convicts us of our wrong attitudes or actions towards those who have sinned against us. Convicts us of the sin of unforgiveness!
In Robert Morris’ situation, the way things are currently playing out in the courts is quite unfortunate. In my understanding, it shouldn’t have come to this. There was and always is a better way! Could the elders in the church have facilitated a reconciliation between her and Morris when there were many opportunities to do so over the years?
What a powerful testament to God’s redeeming grace that would have been, if it had worked out. Even if not, it would have been worth the effort!
Is there no elder in His body who understands the heart of God (not implying there is not…) in these situations? We usually tend to see situations through the prisms of our own understandings shaped by our upbringings and the influences of religious and secular societies around us. In this case, the question to ask is am I being influenced by the popular opinion on this situation?
It is vitally important we understand the need to see every situation from His perspective and proceed with His heart of redemption, no matter how dark and evil people may seem to be. Even if it is going against the tide.
If Christ’s great love and His work on the cross broke down the great enmity between the Jew and the Gentile, bringing reconciliation. If it reconciled us, (who were ungodly and enemies once) to God. Then it is wise for us to let Him measure the depths of His mercies and grace towards those in error and from our side, proceed in every situation knowing that His redeeming grace is deeper and greater than we could ever imagine!
Years ago, I spoke on the topic of forgiveness in a certain city in Kerela of India. I had stressed on the need to forgive for God to forgive our sins. After the sermon, a few teenage girls came up to meet me. One of them started by saying “Pastor, my dad left me when I was around 3. My mom married again, and I was abused in my own house. I ran to my relative’s where I was abused again and then to another relative’s where I suffered abuse again…Now, I am I live in a hostel (She was around 16 at the time she was talking to me
) …” She then looked at me point blank and said, “My dad is responsible for whatever happened in my life, how do you expect me to forgive him”??
I realized that my presentation of the truths on forgiveness had lacked God’s heart of compassion and truths on His great love displayed on the cross. By doing so, I had laid a burden on her she wasn’t able to carry.
As she was talking, I looked for counsel from the Spirit and He did not disappoint. From a place of understanding my mistake (in my sermon), I told her (paraphrasing) “If there ever was a person so pure and innocent, more than a newborn baby, it was Jesus. Even so, look at the extent of abuse He suffered, greater than any human being on this earth. Before He hung on the cross, it was the symbol of ultimate humiliation on the earth but after, it became the most celebrated symbol ever in the world. The pain and the depths of trauma were deeper than one could ever imagine, and it was the ugliest event in history, but God has redeemed it to where today it is the most powerful event ever in history resulting in countless changed lives.
Whatever happened to you is bad and it should never have happened. God understands the depths of your pain … He can bring redemption in your life as in Jesus case if you would only forgive as He intends you to…”
She wasn’t still convinced but I believed God to continue working in her as the teaching sessions were weeklong. Several of those sessions were on God’s love and they were powerful. In the last session the Spirit of God was manifest in a great measure and moving powerfully.
After it ended, she immediately came up to testify. She said that as she felt the presence of God (powerfully) during the time of ministry, she relived the traumatic events, and all the pain associated with them briefly. Amidst it, she had reached out to God for help. Immediately, she had felt liquid fire fill her heart and the next moment she had total love for her father and was able to forgive and release him completely.
A few years later when I met her, she was in the ministry serving the Lord.
Dearly Beloved, as we conclude these thoughts, my prayer is that in every exposure in His body, we proceed with His heart of redemption! Never lowering the standards but at the same time never losing sight of the depths of the mercies and grace of God. Always remembering who we are without Him! And as far as the victims; God can take the ugliest of their situations and by His redeeming power turn it into a story of His love, grace and healing for His glory. The fragrance from them, bringing life, healing and restoration to many.
